All professional athletes have coaches. Even amateur athletes have tcoaches. Mothers-to-be have labor coaches who are there by their side for the pregnancy, labor, and birth. So why wouldn’t mothers keep those they deemed worthy enough to be with them for these special moments by their side for breastfeeding? Many mothers think that because it’s “natural” that it’s supposed to be “simple”. They don’t expect complications to arise, and then when they do arise, it is not easy to face the challenge alone. Mothers may think that the inner circle is just them and their child but fathers also need to be included in achieving the goal of breastfeeding. Here are a few ways that the father—both partner and coach—can do just that.

• Know the benefits of breastfeeding. Supporting mothers means you understand that breast is best for your baby. Read books, browse the web, talk to friends who have helped other moms breastfeed successfully. Especially in those first sleepless days after the birth, you can’t rely on just one person to remember everything, so you need to know what you are talking about in order to be a helpful resource.

• Reassure and encourage. Mothers will feel more confident in their feeding decision if they feel supported. It’s not just about telling her how important this is; it’s about creating a positive environment so she can thrive. Talk and share feelings about what she’s going through. Be the buffer between her and others who make unsupportive or inappropriate comments about breastfeeding.

• Help with the household chores. This might sound obvious but it is important enough to mention. Laundry piles up, groceries need to be bought, meals prepared and dishes washed, not to mention errands to pick up last minute items of whatever you realize the baby needs and you don’t have. The warm meals and folded clothes mean mom isn’t anxious about everything that needs to get done and can focus on baby. If you can’t get it all done, find someone else to help fill the gaps.

• Help with the actual breastfeeding. Breastfeeding means mothers need to be comfortable. Grab her an extra pillow, pull down the shades, put on some soothing music or get her some water (nursing moms get thirsty!) and you will find a more relaxed mom. You can also check the baby’s latch and positioning since mom may not be able to see it from her angle. Suggest an alternate position if she looks too uncomfortable. If the baby is breastfeeding well and 4–6 weeks have passed, give mom time to pump breast milk so you can give the baby a bottle allowing her some much needed free time.

Coaches build on strengths in order to help achieve goals. Not only will mothers feel more confident in their ability to breastfeed, they will also feel validated that they are on the right path; fathers will reap the rewards of a solid team through enhanced family dynamics which will last a lifetime.

It wasn’t until I had my own son that I realized how little we see breastfeeding moms and kids here in the United States (U.S.). And for some reason when we do, it causes strong reactions in people. Many women feel the need to cover up. I’ve read articles by angry mothers who don’t breastfeed calling those who do so in public the “nipple brigades.”  Really, is it that horrible to see a child getting his food or comfort in the way Mother Nature intended?

Now there seems to be a solution available which puzzles me. One breastfeeding mom brought a nursing cover to our playgroup. All of us were curious, so she directed us to hooter hiders for the latest must-have for breastfeeding mothers. The fact that anyone breastfeeding needs to hide her hooters is more than bizarre to me, especially if she is with a group of other breastfeeding mothers.

For starters, it is a visible barrier which I know is the intention, but it makes breastfeeding seem like something sexual or deviant. A natural process need not be hidden just because others may be offended. It is an extra thing to tote around with the diapers, wipes, spit up cloths, extra change of clothes, toys, and other paraphernalia that abound in a diaper bag. Where’s the practicality in the nursing cover then? Plus, I am surprised that any child would tolerate being underneath that hood. On airplanes, my own son played peek-a-boo each time I tried to cover him up with a cotton blanket. I covered up mostly to keep him focused on the breastfeeding and not on all the people walking down the aisles to their seats (he’s an avid people-watcher) but it never worked and I ended up having to turn my back away from the aisle to get him to breastfeed.

Yet when I saw another mom with a nursing cover at the next playgroup, I asked why she had gotten it. She said that it allowed her to breastfeed without giving up her modesty, that it made the balancing act easier. I hadn’t thought of that. I saw the issue from a social perspective: breastfeeding is natural whether in public or in private. She highlighted the personal one: she preferred to breastfeed modestly and in private even if it was in public.

The main objective of the cover-up is to breastfeed a child and that shouldn’t be lost in the confusion of the nursing -in-public debate. All children are entitled to enjoy that special bond with their mother. However, wouldn’t it be grand if the women’s movement of the 21st century helped us burn our nursing covers? It might be more liberating than burning our (nursing) bras.