by Mary Jessica Hammes
August 06, 2010

What do you wish you had known?
“I think what I wish someone told me about was to trust your instincts…I had an argument with a health visitor at the clinic when we took Sylvia to get weighed around 6 months. They were insisting I supplement her feedings with formula because she was deviating from her growth curve on the weight chart. It really put a seed of doubt in my mind on how I was handling feeding my child. I did supplement and I still wish I hadn’t! I gave her one formula feed a day for a few months. It turns out the charts they were measuring children with were from the 1970s and for formula-fed babies so not really relevant! You don’t need to follow charts, you need to follow your instincts.”  —Keri

“I wish that someone would have told me to cherish the time that you have while breastfeeding…When Griffin weaned himself at 8 months, I cried. I missed it for four years until Koen latched on. I am seeing some signals from Koen that he may be letting it go soon. So now, I am cherishing each feeding.”  —Leigh

“The importance of having a good nursing bra. Since I didn’t nurse the first time around and my milk never really came in, I didn’t know what to expect. I had a couple of simple, flimsy cotton nursing bras with no support, and was very surprised when I woke up a few days after Ramona was born with sore, warm, milk-filled breasts that seemed to be each the size of a human head. The bras I’d gotten were in no way adequate for my needs.”  —Traci

“I wish someone had insisted I buy the hands-free pumping bra immediately. I was back at work for a few months before I finally bought one. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to my pumping career. Suddenly I could pump while working on charts, reading a book, or talking on my phone.”  —Jill

“The advice that I wish I had followed was that I should rest when Rata rests. I was trying to be some kind of super housewife. I learned how to make a good pie. I would encourage any new mom to try really hard not to sweat the small stuff and to take really good care of themselves. I got pretty depressed and overwrought due to being so tired. All I really needed to do was sleep when my little baby was sleeping.”  —Kirstin

What was your experience breastfeeding in public?
“In New Zealand it is pretty commonplace to breastfeed in public. It is part of the human mother-child experience and very strongly advocated for. I took part in the La Leche League Big Latch On along with lots of other women in a local mall. It was a nationwide event and got lots of positive media coverage in local papers.”  —Kirstin

“We went to Spain six weeks after Sylvia was born for the Christmas holiday…Spain was an ideal place to go because they are so child-friendly. Sylvia was welcomed everywhere we went and no one batted an eyelash at breastfeeding in public.”  —Keri

“I am really modest about my breasts and have a hard time nursing in public. It’s so intimate to me that I really value privacy when breastfeeding. I tried once to nurse Koen under a nursing apron at Wal-Mart. An entire construction crew was eating lunch at the table next to me. It was so uncomfortable to me.”  —Leigh

“Not many of the people in my family have breastfed their babies, so when I go to family functions [breastfeeding in public] ends up being a topic of conversation, every time. I like the opportunity to answer questions about it—I’m happy for the opportunity to maybe influence any of my family members to breastfeed their kids.”  —Traci

“It’s a very common sight [in Sweden], at cafes, outside…At a mall here in Kungsbacka, there is actually a certain ‘breastfeeding room’ in case your baby (or you) needs peace and quiet.”  —HannaSofie

“I was uncomfortable with it at first, but realized that if I wanted to go out, it was something I needed to get over. I even fed my babies on planes with a stranger sitting in very close proximity. Nobody ever made a rude comment or stared, but sometimes I could tell they were uncomfortable.”  —Jessica

“The first time I breastfed in public was at a mother’s meeting. I figured it’d be the perfect place, since mothers nursed there all the time, but I was nervous, which made Sean nervous, and we ended up leaving. I got used to it and did it a lot eventually…One time we were with some childless friends and I was talking to the wife, who’s a nurse. She was telling me she understands it’s good for the baby, but she doesn’t want to see it and how she thought women should just do it in the bathroom. I asked her if she’d like to eat in the bathroom and she didn’t have a response. I then told her I’d be nursing Maddie soon, so if she didn’t want to see it, she might want to look elsewhere.”  —Genevieve

“I often fed Maeve in cafes…Most of the time it was fine. Sometimes people looked a little shocked when they realized what was happening, but it’s pretty well accepted [in New Zealand].”  —Yvonne

“I was a very public breastfeeder. I fed Iris everywhere we were. Madison is a very breastfeeding-friendly town, so all in all it was pretty comfortable…I did have a Delta stewardess ask me to cover her on an airplane one time. My husband was really angry about it. I just asked her if she ever puts a blanket over her head while she eats and had a good laugh!”  —Jill

“I haven’t breastfed in public. I’m pretty shy about things like that, and while I’m fine with anyone else doing it, I think the most important thing is for the mom to be comfortable with whatever she wants to do.”  —Hillary

“With Ben I happily breastfed in public…not often, but whenever I needed to. I remember my mom saying that with me, she gave up on the privacy as well…she just got sick of missing out on things. I guess I felt the same way, so I just went with it.”  —Becky

What was the best part about breastfeeding?
“How right it felt. It is such a normal healthy human thing to do. It is the best nutrition possible for your baby and such a great way to bond. It was really good while it lasted and it came to a very natural end when my daughter no longer needed or wanted it and I was ready to stop. I look forward to doing it again sometime in the future.”  —Kirstin

“The best part was the bonding and the closeness it created between me and Sylvia. I really enjoyed it because it made me slow down and take a time out to spend with Sylvia, our own special time. The dishes, vacuuming, and laundry can wait—I had a baby to feed.”  —Keri

“It’s very convenient—you always have the food with you!”  —HannaSofie

“The best part of breastfeeding was the close physical and emotional bond with each of them that I’m so glad I had and I’ll never forget. Also, the fact that I didn’t need to bring bottles with me or mix formula in the middle of the night.”  —Jessica

“The quiet time I got to spend with my babies. The special bond we had. The thing I could do that no one else could do for them.” —Genevieve

“Holding my beautiful daughter and feeling her feed from me—it strangely made me feel close to my own mother who passed away years ago. It is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. I’m glad I stuck with it.”  —Yvonne

“I think the thing I liked most about breastfeeding was the closeness I felt with my kids. They needed me in a way that no one else could provide for them.” —Jennifer

“I love the noises my daughter makes while eating in particular. She’s noisy about how much she loves eating, and it’s really sweet, plus it makes me feel like I’m doing a good job.”  —Hillary

“It was really fun to see Zach grow and get these cute little fat rolls and know I was doing that for him. I remember a friend seeing him and joking, ‘Oh my God, he’s huge! What are you feeding him?’ and just feeling really proud.”  —Shana, mom to Zach, 15 months (breastfed for 13 months), Nashville, Tennessee

“There was something magical about those middle-of-the-night sessions. The quiet, the dark, the closeness. We never turned on lights or left the room, diaper-changing was quick and without much talking, and truthfully, both mother and baby were half-asleep through the whole process, but those feedings were so simple—no household distractions, just feed, a little skin-on-skin snuggle, kiss, and back to sleep.”  —Becky

“I feel like it helped my daughter stay healthier. I nursed her for over two years, and she only had one ear infection during that time! Also, I loved feeling like I was providing something special for her. I felt guilty going back to work, but by continuing to breastfeed her, I knew I was giving her the best start possible. Plus, I’m really proud of myself for sticking to my breastfeeding goal. I’m currently pregnant with Jessa’s little brother, and I hope to nurse him as well.”  —Rhiannon

“Breastfeeding is one of the most intense things I’ve ever done, and it can definitely feel overwhelming…but one thing about it is that it always, always, always feels worth it. All you have to do is look at your beautiful baby and see how much she’s grown and know that it is because of you, and every bit of angst and struggle and difficulty is immediately unimportant next to the magnitude of what you’re doing.”  —Traci

Mary Jessica Hammes is an Athens, Georgia-based writer, trapeze instructor, knitter, gardener, comic book enthusiast, and hula hooper. She is mom to Tommy.