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Why Is My Baby Always Crying?!

©iStockphoto.com/kali9

by Heidi Green
May 18, 2009

Few things can make a parent feel as helpless as a baby who is crying for no apparent reason. You’ve fed your baby. You’ve changed his diaper. You’ve held him, walked with him, rocked him. Still, he’s crying. What does he want? What does he want you to do? Why don’t you know? Why won’t he stop crying?

Frustration can build quickly when triggered by a baby’s cries—especially when there seems to be no reason for the crying and nothing you can do to make it stop. Frustration can lead to anger, and anger can lead to shaking. Or worse. That’s the impetus behind The Period of PURPLE Crying®. Developed by Ronald G. Barr, MDCM, for the National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome, this program offers parents “a new way to understand your baby’s crying.” That is, it encourages parents to be aware that crying is developmentally appropriate for infants and to understand that their crying will increase, peak in duration at around 2 months of age, then decline. If parents know to expect this behavior from their children, the theory goes, they won’t feel so frustrated by it. If they don’t feel frustrated, they won’t respond hastily—or even violently.

All babies cry
The PURPLE program is based on decades of research, initially conducted by Dr. T. Berry Brazelton and later expanded by others, including Dr. Barr. Many of these studies drew their data on healthy babies’ crying from daily logs kept by mothers. Graphs of the study data clearly reveal two things:

1. There is a clear increase and then decrease in the amount of time babies spend crying and fussing. This behavior peaks during the second month, at about 6 weeks of age.

2. Babies vary dramatically in the amount of crying. There is huge infant-to-infant variability in the amount of crying and fussing that occurs (as any parent of two or more children may be able to attest!). Some may experience “colicky” crying for as much as five hours per day, while others may cry for only 20 minutes.

It’s tough to feel that you are unable to soothe your child. It’s understandable to feel frustrated. Unfortunately, this frustration can lead some parents—even those who would never think about hurting their children—to shake them. Then, the problem can escalate. A mild shake might show no signs of harm, so parents might repeat the behavior. But babies’ brains and necks are not made to deal with such abuse, and they are very likely to be harmed by it.

Never shake a baby
Since shaking often seems to occur in response to infant crying, the PURPLE program seeks to educate parents and caregivers by addressing both topics, and the relationship between them. In the hours after birth, many parents may believe they would never shake their babies, yet they are likely to be receptive to information about their babies’ crying and development. Therefore, health care providers in maternity units, prenatal/postnatal care, and pediatric offices are encouraged to approach parents to talk about crying. They can explain what sort of crying behavior can be expected and discuss it as a developmental phase. They can explain the dangers of shaking, from neurological and spinal damage to death. Finally, they can offer some alternative, appropriate responses to frustration caused by babies’ crying, such as putting the child down in a safe place and taking a break.

Health care providers who choose to purchase the PURPLE program will receive access to online training materials, as well as materials to distribute to parents and a variety of scripts they can use for counseling their clients, based on their schedules and the clients’ receptivity; these range from 3–10 minutes in length.

Every family is to receive a brochure and a DVD of a brief video. Parents may choose to watch the DVD several times themselves, but they are also encouraged to share it with family members, child care providers, and anyone else who might be left alone with their baby. After all, parents aren’t the only ones who sometimes shake crying babies, and the program is based on the idea that such occurrences will decrease when societal expectations of infant crying are more realistic and are based on children’s development.

Health care providers should take note of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) recent policy statement, “Abusive Head Trauma in Infants and Children.” That statement urges providers to adopt the more general term “abusive head trauma” when diagnosing “shaken baby syndrome” since it is a more accurate phrase and such incidents of abuse often also involve some measure of blunt impact.

Still, the AAP recognizes the usefulness of using the term “shaken baby syndrome” for prevention efforts, such as those that “provid[e] anticipatory guidance to new parents about the dangers of shaking or impact and provid[e] methods for dealing with the frustration of a crying infant.” Therefore, there is nothing in the policy that contradicts the PURPLE program, and one would think that the AAP would embrace the program.

Advocates of attachment parenting may take umbrage with the program’s assertion that “[i]t will not hurt the baby to let them cry even if they cry for a very long time” (emphasis added). Of course, letting the baby cry will not hurt the baby as much as shaking them or hitting them, but it seems hard to believe that babies are developmentally intended to cry in isolation for “very long” periods of time. It is reassuring, then, that the program does encourage parents to try a variety of “carry, comfort, walk, and talk (or sing) activities” to reduce their babies crying—even as it does encourage them to put their baby in a safe place and walk away if feeling “exhausted, frustrated, or angry.”

It is certainly true that a crying baby can be frustrating, and shaking is never the answer. Health care providers may appreciate that this program lets them present information about the risks of shaken baby syndrome in a nonjudgmental, baby-focused way, and parents may be more willing to listen to a message that seems to apply to everyone.

Noha

Hi,

My baby boy is 4 weeks old and he can’t stop crying. The only time he is quiet is when he is on my breast. Whenever I put him in the crib he starts crying. He seems to have some gas in his stomach, I gave him disflatyl drops for infants, but it didn’t really help a lot. I am breastfeeding him the whole day, but give him 1 bottle of formula at night. It’s actually what makes him sleep for 5 to 6 hours! Please I need help!

Best regards,
Noha
http://www.babygooroo.com Amy Spangler

The fact that your baby sleeps for 5-6 hours after getting a bottle of formula may be due to the quantity of formula he is getting rather than the formula itself. In order to be sure that your baby is breastfeeding well and effectively removing milk from the breasts, you need to see a health care provider (doctor, nurse, lactation consultant) with knowledge of breastfeeding who can watch your baby breastfeed, perhaps doing a pre- and post-feed weight to determine how much milk your baby is actually removing from the breast. If your baby is not getting enough to eat, the issue may simply be his position or latch, but without seeing your baby breastfeed it’s impossible to tell.

The signs that your baby is getting enough to eat include appropriate weight gain, and adequate pooping and peeing. Your baby’s urine should be clear or pale yellow and his stool should be yellow, seedy, and runny. Most babies at 4 weeks of age have 6 or more wet diapers a day and 4 or more stools. In addition, your baby should be breastfeeding at least 8 times a day and gaining 4-8 ounces each week. I am assuming your baby was back to his birth weight by 10 days of age, again this is an important measure of adequate intake in the early weeks.

While some babies are fussy for weeks or months, the fact that your baby settles well after being given a bottle of formula suggests that he may not be getting enough to eat at other times. Please make an appointment to see your baby’s health care provider for guidance. Sometimes something as simple as changing your pattern of breastfeeding is all that is needed. In other words, breastfeeding more often; making sure your baby breastfeeds well on the first breast before offering the second; compressing the breast while the baby breastfeeds to increase the flow of milk. There are lots of options, but it would be best to see someone who can evaluate you and your baby, such as an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant.

Your baby’s crying is telling you something and you are right to respond.
Shilpa Thacker

My baby is 7 weeks old. At night he just cannot sleep and cries continuously for 7 -8 hours even after being fed. I have tried both breast milk and formula but nothing seems to put him to sleep. He is inconsolable at night. I feel very helpless and tried as well. It’s tough to see your baby cry so much. Please advise.
http://www.babygooroo.com Amy Spangler

When babies cry continuously there is a reason, but without seeing your baby it is hard to tell what it might be. You can tell your baby is getting enough to eat if he is growing well. If you are making ample breastmilk, I would suggest you breastfeed your baby exclusively, since some babies react to the proteins in formula. There is always the concern that the baby is ill so checking his temperature and noting whether he is having lots of wet and poopy diapers would be a first step. I would recommend that you contact your baby’s doctor if the non-stop crying continues.

While all babies have fussy periods, fussiness is very different from non-stop crying, which requires prompt attention. Any other information you can give your baby’s doctor regarding anything that might trigger the crying or be related to the crying would help him/her better diagnose the cause. Good luck!
julie royray

I have had problems with my little boy, who only wants to sleep in the car! But my sister gave me an instrumental piano CD that works like a dream.
Has anyone else had similar success when using music? I think the website is http://www.justinhunterbaby.com.au if your wanting to listen to the music. It’s really quite lovely. It’s helped me!
Heidi Green

Julie, you’re right: Music can help. I have a pair of lullabies CDs that I used with each of my babies. The music was soothing and gentle, and singing was a good distraction for me, helping the time pass as we worked through their crying phases.
I also used some classical music CDs to settle them (and me). I noticed that it wasn’t always the slow-paced, soft music they responded to; there’s a very lively piece by Mozart that my oldest child always responded to (and began “singing” as a toddler). My daughter always favored Vivaldi’s Spring, which is very quick-tempoed in portions.
Anyway, yes! Music can certainly help. Thanks for calling our attention to that!
http://yahoo Kate Osemwegie

Hi,
My son is 5weeks old. He poohs and pees whenever he eats. Actually, I cannot keep count of how many times he does that because he pees and poohs countless number of times a day. His stools are yellow in color and seedy and his urine very clear but what gets me worried is the fact that he always cries whenever he poohs or pees and he does that with some grunts and groanings. Please help.
Heidi Green

Hi Kate,
Congratulations on the birth of your son! I know the crying can seem worrisome, but it sounds to me as though your son’s behavior is normal. The grunting and groaning is very typical for a baby (and your mention of it made me smile to think of my own kids that little). The crying is just his way of letting you know he’s uncomfortable and needs a change. If you think of it, it’s good that he can tell you so quickly since baby’s skin is so sensitive and prone to diaper rash.
Enjoy your little one!
KC

hi my son is a year and 3 months and he is ALWAYS crying… if he’s in his crib if he wants food and if you don’t feed him fast enough (spoon after spoon) he will not let you eat even if he has eaten right before he will cry and scream because our family is eating but we feed him before so we can enjoy our meal (and not in a selfish way he’s ALWAYS eating.) idk what to think anymore lol i love him but wow.
Heidi Green

Hi KC,
What I’ve found with my kids is that much of the time their cries weren’t saying they were hungry but that they wanted to be picked up, held, or a part of what else was going on. Maybe that is what your son is trying to say when he’s in his crib, too; if he’s not hungry, he may be frustrated at being isolated. Babies crave physical contact, and children old enough to crawl/walk have added interest in exploring their environment. Cuddling and playing can help reduce babies’ crying.

You mention his crying is particularly frustrating at mealtimes. A 15-month-old baby is old enough to sit at the table with you, in a highchair or in your lap. You can give him a few soft finger foods to eat (or explore with his fingers) while you eat. At this age, he may be ready for more “table foods” than you think! [link to at (or explore with his fingers) while you eat.] Mealtime is, as you know, a time to be enjoyed not just for the food but the time together. Maybe he will settle down some if he is there, too; even before they started eating foods, my babies always enjoyed being a part of meals with the family.

If you have concerns about how much your child is or isn’t eating, you may want to discuss it with his doctor. A general rule of thumb is 3 meals and at least 2 snacks per day at this age. (And make sure he’s not just filling up on fluids.) Take care!