by Mary Jessica Hammes
June 16, 2008

Julie was sitting in the parking lot of a store in Atlanta, just finishing up breastfeeding her then 3-month-old son when she saw the security guard walking toward her. He told her that it’d be best if she “didn’t do that right there.”

“You mean breastfeed my baby?” said Julie, a mother of four.

The guard told her it might bother other customers. “I can breastfeed where I want to,” she responded. The guard added it might make other people complain. “They can complain if they want to,” Julie replied. “I have the right under Georgia law to breastfeed where I want to.”

Ping! The lightbulb went off over his head. “He completely changed his tune,” Julie says now, laughing. The guard backtracked, saying that he understood that babies need to be fed, and left her with, “You just send them my way if anyone says anything to you.”

“I’ve kind of been waiting for that moment to happen,” Julie admits. She was prepared: she knew the law, kept a cool head, and the situation ended on a positive note (and perhaps led to a more educated security guard).

I live in Georgia, where state law says a mother may breastfeed her baby in any location where the mother and baby are otherwise authorized to be. Knowing that did nothing to ease my trepidation the first time I breastfed my son in public.

It surprised me, how nervous I was. I had not been known for an overly puritan sense of modesty before having Tommy, and I was a lifelong champion of breastfeeding thanks to my mother. And yet, there I sat in my booth in a café, making sure I was wedged just right between my friends (one of them a breastfeeding mother herself) so that no one could catch a glimpse of skin. (For the record, no one looked twice.)

The opinions of strangers had never meant much to me before, so why on earth was I nearly paralyzed by my fear of them at that moment? I suppose it could have been any number of reasons: sleep deprivation, general uncertainty in my fledgling parenting skills, a general desire to avoid confrontation, the unstable cocktail of post-baby hormones coursing through my achy body, and the list goes on.

Don’t be shy about breastfeeding in public
I became braver with time, and what helped me was seeing other women breastfeed their babies. I joined a group organized by my local hospital’s lactation department; we met weekly to socialize, breastfeed, and ask each other (and the lactation consultants) advice.

It also helped to realize that most people had no idea I was breastfeeding—while breastfeeding my then-tiny son at a baby shower, several friends asked to hold him without realizing he was otherwise occupied!

If you’re a mom and feeling a bit shy about breastfeeding in public yourself, consider Julie’s advice:

• If someone approaches you, stay calm. “My immediate reaction was to get angry, but as soon as I said something, he backed down so quickly,” says Julie. “I realized there wasn’t going to be a confrontation and my rational side took over.”

• Know your rights. Learn about breastfeeding laws in the U.S. “Knowing the law really helps,” says Julie. “That’s really all you have to say.”

• Consider wearing your baby in a sling. If you don’t wish to draw attention to yourself, “slings are excellent, and it’s much easier than trying to cover yourself up,” says Julie.

• Remember that most people—like my friends at the baby shower—are not paying attention. “You feel more conscious of what you’re doing, and most people have no idea what’s going on,” says Julie.

And if someone does see you breastfeeding your child? Be proud of the fact that you just might be an agent of change—as people see more mothers breastfeeding, breastfeeding will once again become the normal way and accepted way to feed a baby.

Mary Jessica Hammes is an Athens, Georgia-based writer, trapeze instructor, knitter, gardener, comic book enthusiast, and hula hooper. She is mom to Tommy.