by Miriam Roldan
May 21, 2007

It seems peculiar to me that many new mothers are reluctant to ask for help when they get home from the hospital or that new fathers think they are limited to “diaper patrol.” A life-changing experience has just occurred and yet some mothers feel that they must still go it alone, especially when it comes to breastfeeding. Granted, it is about the mother, the breast, and the baby, but fathers play a very crucial role in coaching the mother-baby team towards breastfeeding success.

All professional athletes have coaches. Even amateur athletes have tcoaches. Mothers-to-be have labor coaches who are there by their side for the pregnancy, labor, and birth. So why wouldn’t mothers keep those they deemed worthy enough to be with them for these special moments by their side for breastfeeding? Many mothers think that because it’s “natural” that it’s supposed to be “simple”. They don’t expect complications to arise, and then when they do arise, it is not easy to face the challenge alone. Mothers may think that the inner circle is just them and their child but fathers also need to be included in achieving the goal of breastfeeding. Here are a few ways that the father—both partner and coach—can do just that.

• Know the benefits of breastfeeding. Supporting mothers means you understand that breast is best for your baby. Read books, browse the web, talk to friends who have helped other moms breastfeed successfully. Especially in those first sleepless days after the birth, you can’t rely on just one person to remember everything, so you need to know what you are talking about in order to be a helpful resource.

• Reassure and encourage. Mothers will feel more confident in their feeding decision if they feel supported. It’s not just about telling her how important this is; it’s about creating a positive environment so she can thrive. Talk and share feelings about what she’s going through. Be the buffer between her and others who make unsupportive or inappropriate comments about breastfeeding.

• Help with the household chores. This might sound obvious but it is important enough to mention. Laundry piles up, groceries need to be bought, meals prepared and dishes washed, not to mention errands to pick up last minute items of whatever you realize the baby needs and you don’t have. The warm meals and folded clothes mean mom isn’t anxious about everything that needs to get done and can focus on baby. If you can’t get it all done, find someone else to help fill the gaps.

• Help with the actual breastfeeding. Breastfeeding means mothers need to be comfortable. Grab her an extra pillow, pull down the shades, put on some soothing music or get her some water (nursing moms get thirsty!) and you will find a more relaxed mom. You can also check the baby’s latch and positioning since mom may not be able to see it from her angle. Suggest an alternate position if she looks too uncomfortable. If the baby is breastfeeding well and 4–6 weeks have passed, give mom time to pump breast milk so you can give the baby a bottle allowing her some much needed free time.

Coaches build on strengths in order to help achieve goals. Not only will mothers feel more confident in their ability to breastfeed, they will also feel validated that they are on the right path; fathers will reap the rewards of a solid team through enhanced family dynamics which will last a lifetime.